Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 
I Can Lick 40 Nubile Young Women Today

It’s roughly noonish as I write this, and I am sore. Very, very sore. My fingers are sore. My rotator cuffs are aching. My hips are sore. My legs are sore. My feet feel like lead weights. The left cheek of my butt is sore (though strangely enough the right cheek has somehow managed to survive unscathed). My neck is stiff. My shoulders are sore. My back is sore.

I don’t understand just what exactly could have made me so sore. It might have something to do with getting slammed into a wall by a guy built like a quarterback. Then again, it could also be from me getting flipped over said guy’s head and slammed onto a table repeatedly. Or from me getting shot with a crossbow arrow. Or from getting cracked across the face with a metal pipe. Or from being bludgeoned repeatedly with that same metal pipe. Or it could have been from the staking.

The world may never know.

I have to say if being stiff and sore and aching is the price I have to pay for all the tremendous fun I had during the filming yesterday, I’d gladly pay it again. In fact, I’ll be doing that Tuesday, though I won’t have quite as many scenes to film. Being pre-emptively shot and staked more than likely means I won’t have a lot of shots when the big fight breaks out at the end. Then again, I do hold the distinct honour of being the first of any of the characters to have their death scene shot in this film. A winner is me!

Incidentally, I must correct an error from my previous posts. The name of this movie is: Let Me Go. The first movie was entitled Regrets.

Yesterday, most everyone assembled at 10am at the downtown Kitchener bar, “Howl Sports Bar” (formerly, “Howl At The Moon”), which happened to be right next and directly connected to the empty dance club “Stages”, which was where all the filming was taking place.

We arrived at 10am. The last of us (myself included) left at roughly 2am this morning. That tallies up to about 15 hours spent on the set. Granted the scenes I was in took up maybe 4-5 hours max of the entire time, but that’s still a long day.

It was a day filled with many new surprises and discoveries. Discoveries such as: when I eat a pita from the Pita Pit store across the street at four in the afternoon, I no longer require needing to eat anything else for the rest of the night; fake gel blood tastes oddly sweet and fruity; and that I still do apparently look like an other version of Harry Potter--or alternately, Clay Akerman from American Idol, which in fact gives me all the more reason to prefer embracing my Potteresque appearance.

The whole Potter/Akerman thing began when I was set down for make-up and hair. Make-up was easy (oooh, mascera!), but the young lass doing my hair then asked, “So if you’re a disposable vampire, how do you want your hair to look?” My response was, “I have no qualms with whatever you try. Surprise me.”

The resulting hairstyle resembled me having taken a blowfish and styled my hair after it. Actually, it looked pretty cool, since there weren’t any big spikes or bangs; my hair was just sticking everywhere. Combine this with the fact that for all my on-set scenes as a vampire I was not wearing my glasses, and the comparisons people drew between me and famous people varied from Harry Potter to Clay to Tim Burton to *shudder!* one of those guys from the D- pop group B4-4. (I’d sooner be compared to Clay Akerman than one of those guys.)

My hair would have also been dyed red in some spots, to match my shirt, but since we lacked any red hair dye, that didn’t happen. I’m slightly disappointed by that, but oh well.

As it turned out, the last-minute scene John & I had written was approved, and it was the third scene that was shot. Everyone seemed quite happy with the end result, even though it mean some creative rearranging of continuity (since my character was slated in the script to have been shot with a crossbow arrow earlier).

To give a quick synopsis without any spoilers, the scene involves Father Nicholas (an Irish Catholic priest, played by John) and Max (a cemetery manager, played by John’s good friend Ralf) going down to the basement of the club to plant explosives meant to blow it and the vamps sky-high. In staggers one dying vamp (me), who them proceeds to get the crap beaten out of him by Max--but not before the vamp manages to spray a nice arc of blood across Father Nicholas’ face, courtesy of Max’s pipe.

The only downside to shooting that scene featuring my demise was the dust. It was the first scene we were shooting with my character (ironically enough, this scene will also be the last time we ever see him in the film), so I had to keep my clothes in relatively good condition for all the scenes I need to be in later that day. This is a rather troublesome task when the entire room is covered in dust from the cement, drywall and ceiling spackle. I managed to get most of the dust off afterwards with a damp cloth, but it took a while. A looooong while.

This scene was much-loved by everyone for different reasons. Cecelia, the director, loved it because we barely required more than 1 or 2 takes for each camera angle, and we all apparently acted quite well. Rick, the cameraman, loved it because the only real lighting we had in the room were some flashlights, which made everything look creepier. John loved the scene because it was so damned fun and funny for him to get sprayed in the face. I loved the scene because I got to have a particularly fun fight and death scene. Ralf loved the scene mainly because he got to beat me up and kill me.

(Poor Ralf is easily the biggest and strongest-looking of all the characters in the film, and he originally had no fight scenes. John & I helped rectify that.)

I was also complimented on how well I could contort my face and hiss. I chalk it up to my love of imitating the hiss of any of the Aliens.

I am also apparently now one of the creepiest characters in the movie, if not the creepiest. I honestly don’t know why. It might have something to do with me dribbling blood from a wine glass all over one of the female victims/appetizers in our nest, and then licking it off her shoulder and neck. Or it could be from when I gargled “blood” as it was poured down from above my head as I smeared it across my face. Or it could be from the rude kissy face I made at the movie’s heroine after dragging her into the vampire nest.

None of these things were actually scripted. They were ad lib and improvised in the middle of shooting a scene. It’s a little unnerving to be such a pleasant, amicable guy, joking with everyone on the set between takes, and then suddenly become some twisted, little amoral beast without really having to try at it. At the very least, I can look at this character I played and state with no uncertainty that I never want to be this person, ever. And for the record, I did in fact ask permission first with the female victim if I could lick blood off her shoulder.

Besides, I spent more time annoying everyone off-set with all my flowery prose and descriptions of my beautiful and saucy fiancée, Mel. Note to self: find cute picture of even cuter fiancée to show off to everyone today.

On a tangent, the “blood” everyone was drinking in these scenes was actually some form of strawberry syrup. Everyone’s glasses were at least 3/4ths full when we began shooting these scenes. By the time we were done, I barely had any left in my glass (what with all the smearing and drinking and dipping); that may turn out to be a continuity glitch, or else it explains why I was so wired for the rest of the night….

Though the star who stole the show was Aphrodite, the 8-foot long albino Burmese python who was used in one of the scenes. Sophia/Elizabeth Bathory, the big bad vampiress in the movie, got to wear Aphrodite around her shoulders and arms. Aphrodite was simply beautiful and so incredibly tame that we more had to worry about her trying to slither off and explore the club than anything else.

Other highlights of the shoot included John the priest standing outside of the bar, smoking a cigarette. He actually got more funny looks thrown his way than our two female victims who walked across the street to Pita Pit to get some lunch, complete with dirty, torn clothes and bloody faces & arms.

I also got horribly addicted to eating dry Frost Lucky Charms cereal. Excuse me a moment as I angrily wave my fist at the sky and cry out, “Damn you, Lucky Charms!!”

The more curious thing of all was that I never did get to see what the scenes being shot looked like through the camera. I wanted to have the chance to watch on the monitor some of the scenes being acted out, but the chance never came up. I was either nowhere near the shooting, or else I was on the set and couldn’t stare at the camera, or I was on the set and didn’t have my glasses so I couldn’t see the monitor unless I was nose-to-screen with it. I waited for John & Ralf to do the last scene of the night, and was hoping then to check out the filming through the monitor. But go figure, that’s the one scene they do where they didn’t rely on the monitor.

Ah well, today I’m showing up for all the outdoor scenes, even though I’m not in any of them. I’m there for moral support, and just wanting to hang out with everyone again. And probably to help John run lines; poor guy has to chant Latin tonight. I’m not about to stay out as long as everyone else, since this may go to 4-5am, but I’ll probably be there until around midnight.

So yesterday was a fun, new and interesting experience I honestly doubt I’ll ever have the chance at trying out again. I’m glad John thought of me well enough to volunteer me as a dancer (those scenes get shot in late August, I’m told). I’m glad I accepted the offer. I’m glad I was willing and had the time to volunteer my services for whatever else they needed. For as unfortunate as it is for the other guy, I’m glad I got called in at the last minute to play the vampire “Wade” (now known as the scary, perverted vamp).

For as worried as she is about how creepy I’ll look on the big screen, I’m glad that Mel has been encouraging me to get out there and do my best on the set. And I’m glad that at the end of last night, despite coming home late, who should be curled up at the front door waiting for me, but my little Sih-tzu, Shady. (I took her out for a run and gave her an extra-long tummy rub after she greeted me. Such a furry little cutie!)

I’m glad I had the fortune and opportunity to see what it’s like to be in and shoot a feature film. Sometimes life makes you fight for the things you want. And sometimes it just hands you the things you never even asked for. I may be tired right now, but I’m loving every minute of it.


Today’s Lesson: at 2am, the planet Mars is particularly bright and red this time of year.


posted by Phillip at 10:26 AM